Date Lab update: These daters discussed their witch personas. Here’s where they are now.

By Maureen O’Connor,

Daniele Seiss For The Washington Post

Josh Kelley, left, is 27 and a political consultant. They are seeking someone who has a sense of humor, “gives people the benefit of the doubt and tips their drag queens.” Nick Klauda is 26 and works in higher education. He says his type has “dark hair [and a] cute smile,” and “thinks I’m the funny one.”

Editor’s note: Due to the coronavirus pandemic, Date Lab is not business as usual. Today, we’re switching things up and catching up with a pair of previous Date Labbers. Nick and Josh were first featured in Date Lab in December. Below is a condensed version of the original column, along with a new update. (Since the column originally ran, Josh has begun to come out as nonbinary and now uses they/their pronouns. We’ve updated this column accordingly.)

Just be yourself, daters are often advised. But which part of yourself? The self is infinite, but time on a first date is not. So in addition to being themselves, daters must also explain who they are — and decipher the signals, symbols and descriptions that their dates provide.

“I’m an Aquarius, so I get bored and distracted,” said 27-year-old Josh Kelley when asked about their love life. They’re a progressive political consultant by day, drag queen by night, social butterfly and generally single. “It’s an on-again, off-again relationship with trying to date and failing,” Josh said, explaining that they alternate between dating-app hyperactivity and total aversion. “Between working in [LGBTQ] politics and doing drag, I feel like I’ve met 90 percent of the gay people in the city and been through all of them,” they said with a laugh. “Where else do I go?”

Date Lab sent Josh to Radiator, a cocktail bar in the Mason & Rook Hotel in Logan Circle, to meet 26-year-old Nick Klauda, a Minnesotan who works in higher education. An optimist with a laid-back temperament, Nick arrived late to his date. “I was texting my friends, like, ‘Of course I’m going to be late. Oh my gosh, this is so D.C., sprinting for the Metro!’ ” But Josh put him at ease. “Immediately, I got a very warm and welcoming energy,” said Nick.

Reviewing the menu, Nick offered: “I know this is controversial, but what do you think about the olives?” Josh hates olives and countered: “I love deviled eggs so much, but they’re a really divisive food.” Nick hates deviled eggs. They agreed to disagree. (And not to share food.)

Then Josh turned the conversation to astrology. Nick said later, “I tend to be a bit more of an astrology skeptic”; he sees it as more of “a jumping-off point” for self-description. During the date, he pivoted to discussing his preferred medium for self-interpretation, therapy. Said Josh, “I really appreciated his ability to go there with me.”

Daniele Seiss

For The Washington Post

Josh and Nick.

They talked about their families, childhoods and coming out. But intimate as the conversation was, “it still didn’t quite have that flirty, romantic edge to it,” said Josh. Lamenting Nick’s astrological skepticism, Josh said, “I was like, ‘Yeah, well, of course! You’re the olive, I’m the deviled egg. I’m a little bit of a mystic, I’m a little bit of a baby witch, I do a lot of yoga, I read tarot cards,’ ” all of which seemed to contrast with Nick.

Seizing on Josh’s “baby witch” description, Nick recalled asking Josh, “If you were in a movie, who would be your witch persona?” The question thrilled Josh. Growing animated, Josh announced: “I was Elphaba before she was even in ‘Wicked.’ ” (Josh’s drag alter-ego, Buffy Wilde, pays homage to Buffy the Vampire Slayer.)

If Nick were a witch, he said, he would be “a little bit more of a Sabrina [the Teenage Witch].” He’s not the type to be Head Witch in Charge: “I tend to be a little bit more go-with-the-flow.”

Josh speculated later that perhaps they required a fellow believer to feel swept away — not an astrology believer, necessarily, but the kind of person who dives into new ideas and big projects without hesitation. Josh explained that to date them, “you have to be my drag husband, right?”

By the end of the night, there was a tacit mutual sense that a relationship just wouldn’t work. When Josh is just being who they are, it’s a full-makeup Elphaba experience. But when Nick is being himself, it’s quieter — even as a witch, he’s the kind who does homework. He didn’t plan to seek a second date but looks forward to catching a Buffy Wilde drag show.

Rate the date

Josh: 5 [out of 5]. They describe Nick as “10 out of 10, would recommend” for others to date.

Nick: 4.9. A perfect date with an imperfect match.

Update

Josh and Nick had no further contact. The pandemic has made finding love a unique challenge. In April, Josh was thrilled to participate in “DC Is Blind,” a pandemic-safe online show inspired by Netflix’s “Love Is Blind.” “Although I fell head-over-heels for another contestant it turned out I was his second choice,” Josh wrote us. “Always the bridesmaid!” Josh is now serving with AmeriCorps in South Dakota, where “finding queer love in rural America during a pandemic is less than easy.”

After not making a lasting connection during cuffing season, Nick hoped to meet more people in the warmer weather, only to have the pandemic “throw a wrench in that plan.” He also relocated, to Seattle. “So far no luck, but I’m still looking for Mr. Right!” he reported.

Maureen O’Connor is a writer in New York.

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