Miss Manners: Enough with the pants jokes

By Judith Martin, Nicholas Martin and Jacobina Martin,

Dear Miss Manners: When my friend’s computer was broken, she asked if she could come to my house to attend an online meeting that I, too, was attending. I said yes, and jokingly said that I believed the rule is that if you leave the house to attend an online meeting, you must wear pants. She wrote back, “Under- or outer-?”

I was loath to commit to an answer. I know that there are instances when these categories blur.

Can you explain the manner of dressing that might be expected of a guest who has come over specifically to attend an online event where attendees will be seated, and whether the online event or the visit should guide the host’s attire?

The simple answer is to dress for the meeting, as the host is merely providing an entrance to that. But also not to violate decency laws by leaving home without pants.

However, Miss Manners considers the real problem here to be that it is time to retire that joke about not wearing pants when their absence will not be visible. You tried it, and your friend tried to make a joking reply, but neither went over. We are all very tired of it.

Dear Miss Manners: I’ve never been part of a cache of friends and couples who have methodically gone through the marriage and parenthood thing. But where did the “gender reveal” ritual come from? And why does it exist, except to net gifts? Why do expectant parents believe it is so important to announce the sex of their baby? It used to be they were just happy to birth a healthy child.

In a typically American way, gender reveals have gotten grandiose and out of hand. One gender reveal party used a smoke machine for effect, which started a fire in California that burned tens of thousands of acres.

Why do these couples believe they are the first to ever birth babies? If anyone’s listening, Miss Manners, you should say, “Don’t be so stupid!”

You expect a lot from people. I can imagine your disappointment.

Thank you; Miss Manners would like to take a moment to weep on your sympathetic shoulder.

She would be all for inventing new ways to entertain friends, if only they weren’t all connected with the expectation of raking in presents.

Dear Miss Manners: I work in a pretty large building, where we are all working toward the same goal. We pass one another in the halls many times a day. Is it rude to NOT say hello (or a similar greeting) every time we see one another? I’m thinking the first time we encounter one another should be sufficient. What say you?

Ordinarily, a smile would be enough for subsequent encounters. But as Miss Manners presumes you are wearing a mask, a quick hand wave should do it.

New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.

2020, by Judith Martin