‘Design Mom’ Gabrielle Stanley Blair shares her best advice for a happy, stylish home

By Jura Koncius,

Gabrielle Stanley Blair, also known as Design Mom, has built a huge audience for her savvy, stylish advice on creating family homes that are comfortable, practical and fun. The mom of six shares ideas on her blog for things like her favorite nightstand and the best sticker book, as well as information on modern parenting, design, cooking and DIY. Her 2015 book, “Design Mom: How To Live With Kids” focused on simplifying spaces and making them more functional and joyful, while also tackling mundane subjects such as what to do with stray socks and how to solve a case of the entryway blues.

Blair, whose family is currently living in France and renovating a house built in the 1600s, joined me last week for an online chat about family-friendly design. Here are some edited excerpts.

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Q: So many design books assume that there is a kids’ bathroom and a parents’ bathroom, but in my house we all share one bathroom, and it’s small! Any tips for making a small hard-working family bathroom more livable?

A: I feel you. There are 5 (often 6 or more!) of us sharing one bathroom right now and it’s a lot. The best thing we did to help on space is to create hooks for our towels (not towel rods), and we hung the hooks just outside the bathroom. Towels take up so much space! To hang the towels, we added ribbon loops (a different color for each person).

Q: What’s your advice for being open to your teen’s taste in decorating and making their spaces their own? I fully understand how important it is, but — can we be honest — it’s also hard.

A: Pinterest is a huge help for this. Have your teen create a board where they pin any room they like (it doesn’t have to be a bedroom, and they don’t have to like everything in the picture). Help them with search terms if they’re not coming up with anything they like. Once they’ve pinned a ton of images, sit next to them and look at each one. Ask them to tell you what they like about each image — it might be the color of the walls, or the overall feel, or a particular chair, or a cozy rug. Try to get a sense of what all the images have in common and then describe what you see as the commonality. If they agree with your description, you’re ready to go — because now you have a sense of what they really like and what they are picturing for their bedroom. Once you’re on the same page, it’s much easier.

Q: How does a design-y person deal with family laundry? How do you collect it? Do you lose socks? Do you accidentally wash a Kleenex with the darks? Do you iron? At what point do you throw out an item of clothing?

A: Yes, I lose socks, and yes, sometimes I shrink a sweater accidentally. It happens. Probably the most distinctive part of my laundry routine is that I use that time to assess the kids’ clothing. It’s when I notice holes in socks (and throw them out). It’s when I set aside items they’ve outgrown to send to Goodwill. And it’s when I notice if something is looking really shabby and needs to be replaced.

Q: I only have two middle school kids. How do you keep things tidy? Feeling fresh and not too chaotic? You don’t seem like a Marie Kondo, throw-it-all-out type, but I can’t help but feel stressed in my house and not soothed, particularly with the pandemic and us all here all the time. Any suggestions to calm the clutter and make the house a fun, but attractive, place to live?

A: A family household can be so overwhelming! One thing that really works for me is to have at least one space in the house that is “finished.” It can be a small space like a reading nook, or a larger space like a bedroom. I make sure all the design decisions in that one space are done, and that it’s easy to keep tidy. When my brain needs a break, I go sit in that space (I can tidy it first if needed), and I don’t have to run through a mental checklist of everything that needs to be done, because that space is already finished.

Q: Ideas for kids’ sleepover sleeping arrangements? Trundles aren’t available for their beds.

A: We love these roll-up Japanese mats for sleepovers. We have three! They are still going strong after 3 years.

Q: You’re redoing a gorgeous house in France, have six kids, a massive Twitter following — and a lot of trolls. You just keep making beautiful things and saying smart stuff. How do you stay centered, calm and just keep going?

A: You might laugh, but one thing I do that really helps is sharply limit my Instagram use. I know that sounds bizarre because a huge part of my work is sharing stuff on Instagram and responding to DMs. But even though I create on Instagram, I rarely consume on Instagram. Scrolling Instagram can put me in a bad mood so quickly. (Weirdly, Twitter does not do this for me.) Instead of scrolling, I’ll go seek out specific Instagram accounts depending on my mood (it might be Cheap Old Houses or it might be an artist I enjoy). Once in a while I’ll scroll just to get a sense of what’s happening, but mostly I just don’t scroll at all. It’s been a huge help to my peace of mind.

Q: I’m curious how agreeable your children are to helping with your renovation? I often see them in videos helping with projects. Have you always had them do chores around the house? Do they get paid/allowance? We are constantly struggling to figure out a good system.

A: The kids are generally very agreeable about helping with the renovation. It helps to manage their expectations. I let them know ahead of time how long we’ll be working, and what the project is. We try to keep it under two hours. We take before and after pictures of whatever space we’re working in, so we can admire what we accomplished (like removing wallpaper or clearing rubble). Making a time-lapse video that we can all watch afterward is also very rewarding. And if we do a house project in the morning, we make sure to do something more fun and relaxing in the afternoon — like a board game, or a walk.

Q: I don’t personally have children, but I have plenty of friends with them. I’m building and designing a new home right now. How can I find ways to make my home comfortable for all ages while still looking appropriate for an adult-only home? Thank you!

A: So thoughtful of you! I would recommend mixing in children’s books with your own book collection. So many are gorgeous and would fit right in to any home library. I would also have some board games in the cupboard (there are tons that are great for kids and adults), and why not put a few “art” toys on the shelf. Like magnet blocks that are appealing to people of all ages.

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