Carolyn Hax: Out of the abusive marriage and now into … what, exactly?

Dear Carolyn: In public, my ex is charming, outgoing, remembers everyone’s name and in general shows a perfect-looking face to the world. At home, Ex was angry, controlling and abusive. The red flags were there from the day we met, but I was young and didn’t know then what I do now. Ex and I have school-age children and share custody, which is the norm in our state. Teaching your kids how to lie so that the other parent doesn’t get mad at them is not a good place to be. And, yes, the kids and I are all in therapy.