Carolyn Hax: Husband says if she cuts her hair short, it will ‘blow up’ their relationship
The last category is the purely aesthetic, and this is where partners have the weakest and often most problematic claims. When the choices reflecting one’s state of mind are accounted for, and we’re just talking a decision to wear hair short or long, colored or un — or clothing that’s loose or fitted, or whatever else reflects personal aesthetics and comfort — then partners can express preferences, sure. But when one partner declares, “You adorn yourself my way or kiss my affections goodbye,” then it’s time to recognize your “better place relationship-wise” is merely a brokered peace. If the terms of its survival are superficial, then it is superficial.