Carolyn Hax: Brother’s wife skipped the family matriarch’s funeral. Time to call her out?

First, set the bone of your brother and sister-in-law and their marriage and their priorities and her funeral absence and her maybe-kinda-possible secondhand-hunch diagnosis down. Open jaws, drop bone. Completely. Walk away. Keep loving your brother, of course, and welcome him any and every time he shows up, and extend the same welcome to his wife and children as the right thing to do, but walk away from thinking you can fix his family.