Carolyn Hax: Criticism is an unwelcome addition to multigenerational household
The problem is that the older kids are getting into junior high and are being teased a lot for this living arrangement. Our neighbors and co-workers make snide comments about it, too. I really don’t know how to handle these, what do you suggest?
— Multigenerational
Multigenerational: What is wrong with people?!
Bulletin: Judging is not a sport.
Please respond by helping others with their imaginations. “Are you kidding? It’s such a blast.” That is the only answer you need. Not that anyone even deserves an answer.
As for the kids, I hope they have enough swagger for: “You should come over sometime. It’s so much fun.”
Everything about having to answer that question enrages me.
Re: Multigenerational: There are so many readers envious of your living situation. That you have family geographically so close, that you have family so on the same page that you can live under one roof without killing each other, that you have built-in babysitting, that you have so many hands to split the chores … fine, it’s me. I am the envious one. Congrats!
— Envious
Envious: Exactly. Thank you.
Re: Multigenerational: A decade or so ago, the [then-editor of Cookie magazine] discussed her and her in-laws’ cohousing arrangement. I was very impressed with her description and the photos that accompanied the article. I bet there are plenty of people sharing info about their own cohousing, multi-gen arrangements online.
— Impressed
And it’s well on the way to becoming A Thing — adult dorms, retiree friends building little cabin communities. The whole living style of a single-family home in a car-dependent neighborhood is perfect for some, but not for anywhere near as many people as our housing stock says it is. It can be so isolating. Yet the U.S. went all in on the suburban, get-off-my-lawn model of living.
Re: Multigenerational: I have gone from having my own bachelor pad to my current house: I now live with my wife, her mom, her sister, her sister’s two kids and her sister’s son’s friend who had a rough home life and came to stay with us and quickly became a member of our family. People ask things like, “How can you stand a live-in mother-in-law?” and, “You?!? Living with THREE KIDS?!?”And all I can say is, “Yeah, and it’s awesome.” Because it is. If people bring their own judgments to your happy home life, that’s their problem that they should deal with.
— Anonymous
Anonymous: Well done, and well said, thanks.
