I’m John Wilkes Booth, and now is probably as good a time as any to promote myself!

Hi, Ford’s Theatregoers! If you liked what you just saw right now, please remember: My name is John Wilkes Booth, and I am an actor! I am on stage right now at Ford’s Theatre, not because I was cast in “Our American Cousin,” but for a different reason, but you can see already that I project well and what my face looks like! So if you have a production that needs Shakespearean actors who are capable of jumping, enunciating and being virulent racists even for the 1860s, I hope you’ll keep my name in mind! Again, it is John Wilkes Booth, technically like the actor Edwin Booth (legally, my brother, but we are not on speaking terms because he is too small-minded to understand that I am right about everything).