Sorry, President Biden is much too busy to notice there’s an impeachment going on!

There’s a what going on? Oh, sorry, no, President Biden is entirely focused on infrastructure this week and could not possibly spare a thought for anything else that might or might not be occurring. He is hoping to use infrastructure to “bridge” a partisan divide, you see, and anything else that is going on in the country is not even on his radar!

An impeachment trial? Of his predecessor? Well, that certainly does sound like the kind of thing that might be interesting if you were the sort of president who wanted to spend all day glued to the television, but the whole premise of President Biden is that he is not that sort of president, you see. It sounds important, and he would love to pay attention, if only he were at leisure, but, you see, he is the president of the United States, and he could not be further from having leisure! Also don’t forget he has two dogs so even if he did have time, he would probably spend that time interacting with them. Be sure to tell him how it goes, though!

Look, you know how much Joe Biden cares about Delaware. Well, America is his Delaware now, and he has to worry about all of it, so — just imagine the amount of time that takes.

He is doing infrastructure things, and he is focused like a mid-size Ford on his job (the car, not the president! He’s really all about the job, is my point, ha!), as well as having a number of meetings! Look, he’s in a meeting right now! Just please don’t ask him about the impeachment; he hasn’t watched it and if he were eventually to get around to it, you wouldn’t want to have spoiled it for him! He also promised Dr. Jill they would watch it together if at all, and she’s been busy unveiling initiatives, so, you know, he wouldn’t feel right doing it alone.

Of course, President Biden imagines that the impeachment trial would be quite interesting for those who like that sort of thing. He used to be in the Senate, and he figures that if he were still in the Senate it might be of interest to him. But he hasn’t been following it! He just has no time to talk about the former president — unless, of course, you mean Barack Obama, with whom he has a great relationship! He’d be happy to devote a moment or two to think about that, because that friendship is so precious to him. But otherwise, no, sorry.

Anyway, maybe possibly if there were a TV on in a room that he happened to be in and the TV thought that the impeachment was important news for him to know about, he might have glanced at it incidentally; he cannot rule that possibility out! But obviously his mind was on Leading America and Healing and Moving Us Forward. For instance, he is busy launching “an ambitious innovation effort to create American jobs while tackling the climate crisis.”

That sounds like a lot! And that’s just two of the things! There is also systemic racism. There is our nation’s perennial epidemic of gun violence — or, there will be again, once America has healed from the pandemic. The pandemic! And there is certainly the rise of conspiracist terror groups to consider — unless, of course, that could be construed as something to do with the former president’s trial instead of as a broad general statement, in which case, never mind, because President Biden is laser-focused away from impeachment!

No further questions, thanks!

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