Date Lab: They share a deep love … for the arts
By Prachi Gupta,
Photos courtesy of the daters
A few months ago, Adam Mele, 38, was “on a roll” filling out work applications. On a whim, he decided to apply to Date Lab. His last relationship was long-distance and ended amid the pandemic “due to obvious reasons,” he said. By the winter, he was ready to meet new people. While he’s open to a long-term relationship with someone who is reliable and shares his values and sense of humor, he’s not in a rush to find a partner. He (and his cat) were visiting his sister in Connecticut when he learned that he had matched with Sadie Leigh, 31.
Sadie is interested in a long-term relationship but, like Adam, does not want to hurry the process. “I went into the whole thing with not even low expectations, but just no expectations,” she said. On the day of the date, she tried not to think about it too much and went about her day as usual. She chose a sleeveless dress with a tropical pattern for the night — “just to make it feel a little special” — and put on some mascara. She got takeout from Latin American restaurant the Royal, ordering an arepa, hearts of palm, french fries and a cocktail, which she set up in her living room.
Adam’s pre-date rituals were similarly low-key. “There’s really not that much I felt like I could do beforehand,” he said. “It’s kind of like a job interview.” He ordered a mixed taco platter from a taqueria he frequents and set up his laptop at the desk where he feeds his cat. “I took a shower. I considered brushing my teeth,” he said. “I did brush my teeth.” He wore a comfortable terry cloth shirt and then waited for his food to arrive.
While ordering, Adam noticed that “the delivery reviews were like 3.5 stars.” He was puzzled by the mixed reviews, but he reasoned that the food would “probably still be edible.” The driver arrived 15 minutes before the date, and, immediately, the order “felt like it was at least 11 pounds worth of food.” When he opened it, he discovered three orders of “very heavy, soggy delivery nachos.” “They were smothered in sour cream and meat and salsa,” he said, “so it was nothing I was going to be able to eat on Zoom in a dignified manner.”
But Adam wasn’t upset. In fact, he was almost relieved: “I saw that as a good omen” — as the universe balancing out the good fortune of a free meal and a date. He settled at his laptop with a beer from the fridge and logged on.
Despite the limitations of Zoom, the first impressions were positive. “He was quite cute, actually,” Sadie said. “He had a nice smile. He seemed approachable.” Adam, too, thought Sadie was attractive. It was clear, however, that they “felt similar levels of awkward” about the date, she said.
[She is looking for ‘companionship’ and he is looking for ‘continuity’]
After The Washington Post designated Sadie as the host of the Zoom call and left, Adam took some of the pressure off by making a joke. He told Sadie it was good that she could share her screen because he was sure she had a PowerPoint presentation prepared, Sadie recalled with a laugh. “It was a good Zoom joke, which I appreciate,” she told me. They also met each other’s cats, further easing any tension.
On the surface, they had a lot in common. Both are close to their families, share similar political views and are dedicated to the arts. Outside of their day jobs, Adam is a painter and Sadie is a dancer and singer. The mutual interest, particularly in a city focused on the federal sector, was a refreshing commonality. They’ve both even participated in arts events at the local venue Rhizome DC. The worlds of performance art and visual arts are different enough, though, that they could also learn from each other. “It was an opening to talk,” Adam said — a sentiment that Sadie echoed: “I feel like there could be a real understanding” between us.
“I’ve been on cruddy dates before,” Adam said, but “in terms of conversation, we got along pretty well.” However, he added, “90 minutes at most is like the absolute max for me” on Zoom. Sadie felt similarly. After nearly two hours, “we both were ready to say goodbye and it felt like a natural conclusion,” she said.
Besides, they were both hungry. “Eating was nearly impossible” on Zoom, Sadie said. “I probably ate 10 french fries.” As for Adam’s nachos? After the date, he ate one of the servings “nice and cold and congealed.”
They shared Instagram handles and exchanged numbers and started texting. “We had a lot of overlapping interests, but not exactly the same,” said Sadie. “He seemed really great.”
Adam agreed: “I had a really good time talking with her. It went well.”
Rate the date
Adam: 4.5 [out of 5]. “I don’t think I could give a 5 for a Zoom talk.”
Sadie: 4. “But I mostly blame Zoom for that.”
Update
The two stayed in touch but will not be meeting up. Adam started talking to someone else and doesn’t want “to complicate things for anyone by dating more than one person at once.”
Prachi Gupta is a writer in New York.
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