Carolyn Hax: Frustrating questions after transgender daughter comes out

Your answers can also teach the lesson you so ache to, that giving your daughter respect and room to be herself is the most welcome response to her news. When people ask you about her appearance and you’re not inclined to give full explanations, skip the specific question to respond generally. Such as: “She is [her name]. Appearance is not what she cares to focus on.” Or, “isn’t relevant.” Or, “may vary.” (As it does with all of us.) You get the idea — and eventually, fingers crossed, so will everyone else.