When Paige, 24, graduated from college in 2020, she worked for a while at a local coffee shop. Then she got a corporate job at an international development agency. Work was remote and “kind of miserable,” she explained. “I really missed the human interaction and creative aspects of working in a coffee shop.” So she quit and went back to barista-ing.
Date Lab: She had to crane her neck to get a good look at him
But in D.C., she finds, “people are like, ‘You’re a barista with a degree in international development?’ And I’m like, ‘I love this! This is what I want to be doing!’ ”
Paige, who grew up in the area, laments that the apps “have really given us, as a generation, this thing to hide behind,” preventing people from the obvious meet-cute opportunity her job presents. (She “definitely thought being the cute barista” would help her meet contenders, but so far no luck.) She applied to Date Lab with the encouragement of her roommate, over a bottle of wine.
We matched her with Ben, 26, who works in trade policy and is in D.C. for the foreseeable future after bopping back and forth between Washington and his hometown in Oregon during the pandemic. He’s gone on “a few Hinge dates here and there, but not any great ones.” He joined a running group, hoping to meet people, but hasn’t found someone he feels compatible with yet. He applied to Date Lab on a whim.
“I feel like I’m in a relatively stable place,” he said, adding that he was both “open to anything” and hopeful about finding a “serious relationship. … It just seems like it’s not a bad time for it.” His description of what he is looking for was very open-ended: “Really just somebody that I enjoy spending time with.” After much prompting, he added that he would like a partner who is “open-minded,” “outdoorsy” and “interested in learning new things.”
Paige is seeking a “good listener” who is “empathetic” and ideally shares her passion for art and culture. Also: No consultants — “I know everyone jokes about it, but I do feel like they’re the people who are least likely to be able to make any sort of commitment.” And she would like something serious. “I have pursued serious relationships, but I’ve been burned by those in the past.” She was excited to be matched but also intent on keeping her expectations low.
For the date, Ben enlisted a friend to help him pick an outfit, but wound up with what he wears on every single date: “a short-sleeve button-down shirt, jeans and boots.” He copped to being “kind of stressed out” about going into the date “completely blind.” Paige wasn’t super nervous. Plus, she was a fan of the restaurant we picked: Farmers Fishers Bakers. She tried on outfits with her roommate and selected a dress.
Paige Ubered to the restaurant, arriving right on time. Her first reaction to Ben: “Holy s—, this guy is really tall.” (Paige is 5-foot-4; standing next to 6-6 Ben she had to have her “head craned all the way back.”) Ben, who’d gotten there 10 minutes early, was pleasantly surprised by Paige. “She was a lot prettier than I was expecting!”
Over dinner, they talked about their different backgrounds — Ben’s from a cattle-ranching family — and their music tastes, “which align pretty well,” according to Paige. She’s a “huge Dolly Parton fan,” she said, “and he really enjoys Bob Dylan and Creedence Clearwater Revival.” Ben talked about the Peace Corps; Paige, who’d traveled a lot internationally, was intrigued. As they talked, Ben said, “I got a lot less stressed … seeing that she doesn’t bite.” He was charmed to discover she drives “a 2002 Buick that’s missing a window and doesn’t have a functioning air conditioner” and that they both like eating at Waffle House.
Paige “definitely wanted it to be a bit flirtier than it was,” she said. “I felt like there were times that I threw out a line and he didn’t catch it.” She added, “I felt like there was no point in the night where he felt comfortable with me, and that was kind of hard.”
After a three-hour dinner, they walked around the Georgetown waterfront and exchanged phone numbers. As they were about to part ways, Ben asked if he could kiss her. She said yes. Paige was surprised by the request; she hadn’t felt like the date was leading to a kiss. “Sparks-wise, I’m not sure they were there.”
“I’d definitely like to see her again,” Ben said. “I had a great time.”
“We’ll see what happens,” said Paige.
Rate the date
Ben: 5 [out of 5].
There was no second date.
Editor’s note: Because of privacy and safety concerns, Date Lab allows participants to be identified only by their first names.
Jessica M. Goldstein is a regular contributor to The Post’s Style section.
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Source: WP
