Introducing the all-new Tesla Model Q: Join the conspiracy

That’s unwelcome news to wealthy progressives — the vilified urban “elite” — who buy Musk’s electric cars. There’s some evidence that his MAGA conversion (not to mention his social media outbursts, pro-Putin tendencies and personal erraticism) is turning off would-be Tesla owners. This calls for a great replacement of customers!

So where will Musk find those new Tesla buyers? Well, consider the consumers most delighted by his determination to turn Twitter into a haven for disinformation, white nationalism and Russian sympathizers: the 1 in 5 Americans who embrace QAnon, the antisemitic, sometimes violent and always ludicrous and debunked extremist ideology that a satanic cabal of pedophiles runs the government. The QAnon crowd, and related groups such as the Proud Boys, have been a vast, untapped market in the automotive sector — until now.

Introducing the all-new Tesla Model Q.

Do your own research! You’ll find that the Tesla Model Q can go from zero to 60 faster than a Tucker Carlson monologue. With acceleration that powerful, you can be absolutely sure that Jews will not replace you — in the fast lane or anywhere else.

Whether you’re taking a road trip to the nation’s capital for an insurrection or just zipping around the corner for pizzagate, feel the pride that comes with knowing you’re driving the world’s first luxury coupe specifically designed for a coup. The Model Q overthrows your expectations in every way.

Where we go one, we go all — and that’s why the Model Q has comfortable seating for the entire family, with plush, deep-state bucket seating. Luxuriate in the feel of the optional lizard-skin interior trim; it’s the same style worn and shed by the reptilian humanoids that currently staff the Biden White House!

The storm is coming — and you’ll be prepared with the Model Q’s best-in-class handling, which allows you to take hairpin turns in logic with full confidence, regardless of the facts on the ground. And with state-of-the-art sealed indictments muffling engine noise, the cabal won’t even know it has been infiltrated. If the worst happens and you do collide with reality, eight standard airbags will make sure that you #SaveTheChildren.

With the Model Q, you won’t ever have to stop to charge your battery. That’s because the Q runs on a proprietary blend of hydroxychloroquine, ivermectin and 94-octane adrenochrome. This guarantees your car will power through the eight-year, 100,000-mile warranty with your drive unit looking more youthful than ever.

The Model Q cockpit is a Great Awakening in comfort, with enough technology to hack a small state’s election. Your 17-inch driver’s touch screen connects you to all channels of communication — 4chan, 8kun and Truth Social — allowing you to monitor both traffic and traffickers.

Following the White Rabbit has never been easier with the Model Q’s autopilot, featuring cameras, radar and sonar sensors that give you 360 degrees of visibility into all the black hats who are out to get you. And the Q’s optional ankle-bracelet jammer will have your parole officer thinking you never left home.

The Model Q gives you more reason than ever to trust the plan! Our engineers, working from a former Ukrainian bioweapons lab once run by Hunter Biden, have prepared for every contingency. The Model Q’s industry-leading cargo space in front and rear gives you the freedom to lay in enough firepower, dried food and red pills to last 10 days — or 10 months. Either way, you’re sure to enjoy the show in your very own Model Q, available now in all white.

The all-new Tesla Model Q: Nothing can stop what’s coming.