Wishing peace for Gold Star families: Faith and pain are not incompatible

OPINION:

During each of our eight years as governor and first lady of Wisconsin, Tonette and I hosted an evening at the Executive Residence to honor Gold Star families. To this day, I consider the annual gathering one of the most important things we did while in office.

Throughout the holiday season, we would fill the house with Christmas trees from across the state. The decorations would vary from year to year, as different groups of volunteers helped pick a tree to work on in each room of the house.

One tree, however, remained the same as it was in the center of the house. It was called the Tribute to Our Troops tree. It was dedicated to service members from Wisconsin who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our country since Sept. 11, 2001.

Every year, a wonderful woman named Linda Hughes knitted individual ornaments by hand for each member of the military. The design changed annually, but she always included red, white, blue and a gold star.

Mrs. Hughes and the volunteers who assist her pray over each ornament as they complete their work. They were hung on this special Christmas tree in the reception room and displayed throughout the season. After Christmas, we would send them to each of the families.

On a Saturday night in mid-December, we would host each of these families at a reception. They are a remarkable group of people, with some having attended for years. They know pain and sorrow, and they come  in part to support other families. They understand no one else can relate to what they are going through. It is an elite group that no one wants to join.

Meeting with these special families over the years has been an honor, as it is easy to see how their loved ones were called to such noble service. They are such good, decent people who I have treasured my time with over the years.

During the protests early in my tenure as governor, I was shocked to hear family members tell me they were praying for me and my family. I was there to support them in their moment of sorrow, and they were thinking of me.

So many of the parents and family members also share about the important role faith plays in their lives. One grieving mother spoke passionately of her relationship with Jesus Christ and of the comfort she felt knowing her son’s faith was so real. Later, she broke into tears and apologized for speaking of her faith and then seemingly questioning it with her sorrow. 

I told her that faith and pain are not incompatible. We can miss someone and still find comfort in that they are with the Lord.

We read about suffering in 2 Corinthians 12:9 when God addresses the pain Paul is experiencing, saying, “My grace is sufficient for you as it is made perfect through weakness.”

The story of Christmas reminds us of this every year. As we read in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Our Heavenly Father loves us so much that he sent his own son, Jesus, to live among his people, knowing full well that he would die for our sins. He loves us — you and me — more than we can even begin to imagine.

For some households, the holidays may be a time of stress. Family tensions, financial strain, poor health or other things might make these days seem less like the most wonderful time of the year. The pain of a missing stocking for a loved one who is no longer there may make the season nearly unbearable for many among us.

The Christmas story, though, gives us hope. God sent his son to live among us — not with a triumphant parade— but as a baby lying in a manger. When shepherds came to worship the newborn king, they told of an angel who spoke to them while they were watching over their flocks. In Luke 2:14, we read that the angel and the company of the heavenly host declared to them, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

God does not promise us a life free of pain or suffering. He offers us peace.

This Christmas, I pray for peace for all the Gold Star families. I pray for peace for all who have lost a loved one. And I pray for peace for all who are in pain or who are suffering. May the peace of our Lord and savior be with you all this Christmas and in the new year.

• Scott Walker is president of Young America’s Foundation and served as the 45th governor of Wisconsin.