Carolyn Hax: How to say no to longtime friends who vacation by drinking all day?

I understand not wanting to cause pain, but sometimes all your options bring some degree of pain: You either tell someone you’re not interested, or keep seeing them (and keep them from more suitable others) out of guilt, or, ugh, silently disappear on them. With these choices — two cruel, I believe — you can only accept you will cause pain regardless, then try to minimize how much you inflict.